Small Gifts

Enoch and I have been staying with Ut for several nights now as she recovers from her surgery. At first, I think she was a little bit skeptical about whether or not we would really be able to help her—after all, we don’t even speak Vietnamese. Slowly, though, I think we’re beginning to win her over.

During our first night, Ut’s feet and legs were swelling pretty noticeably. She had been told to keep them elevated, so she was resting her feet on a metal bar running across the wall—not the most comfortable position. Patients provide their own pillows in Vietnamese hospitals, so Enoch went out and bought two more to use as cushions for her legs. Ut was so surprised to receive the gift—her eyes got big, and she kept trying to hand them back to us. She gestured that we should use them ourselves and get some sleep on the floor beside her. After a little encouragement, Ut finally moved her legs onto the pillows and breathed an audible sigh of relief.

It is customary for Vietnamese people to sleep on hard surfaces; in fact, most sleep without mattresses. In Hue, hospital cots are wooden slats covered by straw mats. All customs aside, when you’re lying in one position for a long period of time, a little padding starts to sound pretty good. We noticed that Ut had folded up her blanket to have something more comfortable to lie on. Two of the patients had brought in some extra cushioning, so we asked where we could find some of our own. We bought Ut a small water-mattress, which she loves. Tonight, she is wrapped up snugly inside of her blanket instead of sleeping on it.

Probably Ut’s favorite gift has been a trinket that we picked up on a whim. Before coming to the hospital one evening, we saw little containers of artificial flowers at a local store. I hesitated before making the purchase—I’m more of a live flower person and, besides, no one else in the hospital had flowers in their room. One arrangement in particular was cute and sweet, so I thought it was worth a shot. Ut’s excitement over the gift was such a surprise! She held it up for everybody to see, then brought it close to her body as if it was precious. Ut smiled broadly and discussed the flowers with her roommates, studying them intently from time to time, even smelling them to see if they were real. One roommate must have asked for a flower from Ut’s bunch, because Ut quickly pulled the arrangement away and started to laugh. From that moment on we’ve been friends.

I’m not a gift person; I guess you could say that gifts are not my love language. Or at least they weren't. I see more and more how receiving a gift can make a person like Ut feel valued and loved…and I want that very much.

The Hospital

I'm writing from a hotel room in Hue. Ut, the Vietnamese lady who had been diagnosed with liver cancer, was able to have her surgery last week. Her recovery has been slow, but she is eating a few bites and can sit up and walk with assistance.

Vietnamese hospitals are quite different from American hospitals. Patients don't receive the same sort of round-the-clock care, so family members stay in the hospital to feed and care for their loved ones. In the case of Ut, her only family is her son Dat. Several of us are taking shifts at her bedside.

Enoch and I arrived in Hue last night. We were a little surprised when we saw her hospital room for the first time. The rooms are small--not as big as a college dorm room--and they have four beds. In each bed is at least one patient and one or more family members who are there to help out. In Ut's room, people were sitting on the beds, on straw mats on the floor, and on a cot similar to a stretched-out lawn chair. I counted 15 crammed in the tiny space.

The longer we stayed, the more attention we attracted. Before we knew it, the hallway was filled with curious onlookers; others crowded around the outside window to peek in.

Meanwhile, Enoch and Jillian Brewer had slipped outside so Enoch could prop up his leg, still swollen from a motorbike wreck. Soon after they left, Jillian came in to tell me that it was crazy outside. In the open space outside our wing, a circle of people huddled together. There in the middle of all the commotion was Enoch, looking a bit bewildered as he was repeatedly questioned about his leg in Vietnamese. Convinced that he was a hospital patient because of his bandages, one woman even tried to give him milk. Our Vietnamese friend Linh laughed and called Enoch a celebrity.

Please keep Ut in your prayers--she is in a lot of pain. Also, remember us as we stay at the hospital each night. The language barrier makes things difficult, and we want Ut to be properly cared for and to feel safe and comfortable.

Thanks for the prayers.

With love,

Marissa and Enoch